you don’t know Jack

I convinced my parents to up their internet speed, so now we can all indulge in our own particular forms of entertainment.

My mom does church stuff online. My dad watches the weather and Fox News.

My daughter’s laptop needs to be sent in for repairs, so I bought her Minecraft for PS4 so she can play it on the Roku TV in my room.

We’ve been playing it together in the evening.  I find it boring, but it makes her happy.


Then, when she goes to bed, I get to watch shows on Amazon Prime or Netflix.

I watched all of Jack Ryan Season 1 during a weekend binge. It was glorious rapture.


I have to say, I’ve never seen John Krasinski as anything other than “just cute” before.

True, he was emotionally appealing in A Quiet Place but he was also playing opposite his IRL wife Emily Blunt, so it felt kind of wrong to lust after him in that role. DILF status not withstanding.

Still, I do love a man in a good strife beard.

krasinski quiet place

I’m also a big fan of hands, jaws, chins, shoulders and collar bones. Manly man parts.

I really don’t mind seeing naked man butt either. And we get to see Jack Ryan’s heinie in episode 4 “The Wolf” as prelude to a fairly decent sex scene.

jack ryan kiss.gif

Actually, the best part of that episode is when, after their late night date to a crab shack (because Jack is a very good boy and feeds her first), he asks Cathy if he can call her again. She says, “You could. Or you could just come up now.” Sheepish look, a little bit of a giggle on her part, and hey-we’re-both-adults-here… then… hey-look-boobies!

Again, quoting myself from a much earlier post, breasts do not turn me on. But I can objectively look at them and say… that is a really nice nipple. If I were a man, I would be in love with that nipple. Brava! Brava!

All lasciviousness aside, some of the impetus for watching episode after episode was to make sure that Hanin and her daughters safely escaped their gilded cage of sexual oppression and fear. I felt palpable anxiety for her safety. Would she be raped? Would she be killed? Would her daughter’s understand the necessary sacrifice that she’s making? Will she be reunited with her son who betrayed her and stayed with his father?

jack ryan Hanin.jpg

As a woman recovering (for the rest of my life) from a similarly toxic background as part of a male-centered polygamist religion that still has active members in its fundamental community who see no problem with older men taking child brides… it hit a little too close to home for me.

I even have a file on my computer entitled “Not Without My Daughter” where I saved various resources I could use to escape my second marriage, if need be.

That is a reference to another woman caught in fundamental hell, and its after-math.


Good news, they made it. But it came really close to disaster, and I won’t go any further because of spoilers.  Just, watch the series.  It is the best one I’ve seen in years.

I also wrote this poem somewhere near the completion of Season 1.

Season 2 starts on November 1.  All the feels.


dark water runs
‘twixt hewn channels of rock;
no room to err
so I fully take stock;
my life starts here
where the sun is my clock;
my death may be
where the vultures all flock.

my boat is named
after the last man I wed;
that love affair
left me cold as the dead;
my baby’s sire,
oh the tears that I shed;
as I did blood,
so my sails are dyed red.

what will I find?
a love longing for me,
with a quick wit,
and a laugh like the sea,
hands like rough stone,
a soul gentle and free;
who, when I ask,
will bow down on one knee.

Hours I own all of these ideas, but none of these images.
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